I Love to Hear a Great Daddy Story!
By Kenneth Braswell
Author, “When The Tear Won’t Fall”
http://www.kennethbraswell.com/
In order for healing to occur, stories of pain must be replaced by similar stories of progress, hope and triumph. For many of us it’s difficult to make this transition. Tragically, our identity is attached and defined by the existence our pain. If you have read my writings about the issues of fatherlessness, you will hear the pain I feel in not being able to tell a great father story. Not a story that I can attribute to my being a father, but one that can be told of my own father.
However, one of the awesome things I often hear when telling my story of fatherlessness is the counter story of “fatherfullness.” (new word; I just made up.) It describes a state of being full of “father.”
(Reality Point); contrary to popular belief, there are a lot more men being great fathers; than not.
The impressionable stories of these men (fathers) are told by children young and old. They speak of the invaluable contribution and influence they’ve made in the lives of their children. Such stories are told in books like “Daughters of Men” by Rachel Vassel. The impact of others are told and seen on public display like Bill Cosby, Hill Harper, Allan Houston, Shaq and many more.
For me, it isn’t just the substance of the narrative; but the passion of its delivery. You see, I’ve heard and even told loving stories of mothers. But, when you hear great father stories, they are often told with a defensiveness or protective tone. It is as if the orator is convincing you to believe its truth or desperately trying to proof its integrity. These great stories are both relevant and confirming. As a result of the increasing conversation regarding fatherlessness, these stories are finding more opportunities to be shared as a testament to the legions of men (fathers) doing the right thing.
I believe we benefit greatly from shared experiences. Yet it is the inspirational glows that illuminate from the stories of others that blaze a path to new personal perspectives. Often, it even encourages us to search for a new reality. Our tales of fatherlessness should be heard with seriousness. In addition, the incredible tales of fathers who brighten the lives of their children is owed the same level of merit. We crave to hear them; we even desire to be them.
So, if you are a child of a father holding in a great story; I offer these suggestions:
Be Encouraged to Lift-up Your Great Father
Keep telling the stories of your great fatherhood experience. You don’t have to compete with the stories of fatherlessness. Those stories have there place, but there is a relevant place in the encouraging tales of men being the best fathers they can be.
We Need Balanced Fatherhood Images
Media should be at the forefront of exposing the images of responsible fatherhood. Movies, commercials, sitcoms and reality shows are beginning to get it right, but they have a long way to go. Men will tell you of the great power of the TV. remote control. Legend has it, that it can change the images you view and even make them disappear. We should use this power to restore the balance of family dynamics and the impression of the positive impact of fathers.
Be a Testament to a Great Father
Ugly ties, cheap cologne and slippers are weak expressions of the invaluable contribution a father can make. However it is in what you say to others about your father that will last and have a greater impact than any gift you can possibly muster. I am encouraged to be a better father when I hear the awesome stories of great fatherhood. Especially when I see its product and results.
Don’t Let a Day of Thanks go by…
If your Dad is physically here on earth or spiritually resting in the heavens; don’t miss a moment to let him know the valuable affect he’s had on your life. Great parenting, but more specifically, great mothering and fathering should be celebrated with vigor. It is the ultimate job.
Imperfect Process; Perfect Purpose
Help us understand through your story that great fatherhood isn’t derived from a perfect path. As we hear your father’s story of consistency, compassion, presence and love we need to know that it wasn’t easy and without flaws. Confirm for us that great fatherhood is somewhere in the middle of a perfect and imperfect family paradigm.
We honor those good men that provide us with great and not-so-perfect models of fatherhood. Your children are a testament to your efforts and in our psyche and hearts, you too, should and deserve to have a place for your story to be told.
